On success and career barriers as a woman: Highlights from my interview with Jio
On success and career barriers as a woman: Highlights from my interview with Jio
Earlier this month, I had the honour of being interviewed by my client, Jio, for their International Women’s Day Celebration. Jaspreet Kaur asked some incredible questions, which got me to really open up about being a woman in the workplace and beyond.
Sharing our true experiences can serve as a reminder of how much progress women have made whilst also highlighting the work that still needs to be done to have a more equal and just world for all.
In this journal note, I’ll share some of the highlights from the interview with the intention of inspiring you to be brave and go after what you want to see in the world.
We explore various aspects of career success for women, diving into three critical factors for success - learning, courage, and communication
We discuss the role of intuition and compassion in a woman's career
We shed light on the biggest barrier to success - self-doubt and limiting beliefs
We talk about the importance of balancing listening, nurturing, and support in the workplace
Finally, exploring the role of male mentors
Three Factors for Success: Learning, Courage, and Communication
Q - What’s the biggest factor that has helped you to be successful?
There are three factors that have helped me most in my career. And I believe they can help you in yours, regardless of your gender.
Number one is being open to learning, and especially getting to know myself. I have a confession to make, I am a personal development addict, and I'm not recovering. I really like the experience of growth. I like constantly evolving, changing and discovering different parts of myself. And so being open to learning about myself, being open to learning from other people has massively helped me expand my horizons and also better understand myself and who I am and where I want to contribute most.
Number two is the courage to take risks and to try new things. When I was a child my mum used to say, where the devil cannot go, he will send me. I have always had a curious spirit, I have always enjoyed taking the path least travelled. I was the kind of kid who will run through the bushes. That courageous mindset has really helped me to say ‘yes’ to opportunities without worrying about how.
Number three is communicating my goals and asking for help. Do not undervalue the fact that as human beings, we like to help. Too often, we hold back from asking for help. When we communicate with others, what we aim for and what our dreams are, magic happens; we spark their ‘how can I help gene’. All of a sudden they might say "I know someone who did that, why don't you talk to them?” Or “I've read a book on this topic, you will enjoy it”. Asking for help, and openly communicating my goals really helped me in my career, it opened doors that I didn't even know were there.
The Role of Intuition and Compassion in a Woman's Career
Q - What do you think helped you the most to make a career as a woman?
Given it is International Women's Day, I would like to share two things that helped me in my career as a woman.
First is my intuition. Having these moments in life, when I just feel I need to speak to someone or I just feel drawn to meet someone new who might be sitting quietly in the corner. Every time when I follow that feeling I start a conversation and I end up meeting someone really incredible or I am able to help someone in a very meaningful way. I think that has really enriched my career and opened a greater capacity for connecting with the right people at the right time.
The second is compassion. I am one of those lucky women for whom compassion comes very naturally. I can quickly read a room and I find it very natural to offer help. When we invest the time to have genuine conversations with people and we see them as humans, our understanding of who they are grows. We appreciate more where they are coming from, and the lens they are looking at the world through. Because, in every corporate environment we work with people, and it is that human-to-human connection that makes us go the extra mile and creates better results for our organizations.
The Biggest Barrier to Success: Self-Doubt and Limiting Beliefs
Q - As a female leader, what has been the most significant barrier in your career?
I have a lot of empathy for the challenges that females face in the workplace. Many women deal with a lot of discrimination and inequality. I want to acknowledge that every experience is valid and some experiences may be similar, others may be different. For me, my most significant barrier has been my own self-doubt and the story I keep telling myself.
Last summer, I went on a 3-day self-discovery retreat, where I was working through things I would like to improve in myself. My goal was to create an unshakable belief in myself.
We went through a number of different exercises, and explored what it means to be unshakable and if I was unshakable what I would have achieved. Then I was asked why this is not true for me yet, why am I not there yet?
My own answer shocked me! The answer that came out of my own mouth was “Because I'm a woman”. It must have come out of my subconscious mind as everyone who knows me knows my gender has never been a barrier to my ambition and my aspirations
This was the time when I realized that it is the story I was told and one I continue to tell myself. It is a story of limitations programmed and conditioned into me through generations and stereotyping the role women play in society. Because you are a girl or a woman you must…, you should…, you should not…, you are not supposed to… . “Know your place, woman”.
Maybe at times, we hold onto that story ourselves too much. We don’t take the time and often we lack the courage to question that story. And we become the most limiting barrier to ourselves. I realized I had become the most limiting barrier to myself and it was time to change it!
It takes a lot of courage to face up and challenge that story. It takes a lot of perseverance and hard work, to create, embody and tell a new story of who I am as a woman.
It is still a work in progress for me. But what I do know is that we are not just one story, we are a collection of many stories. We have a lot to offer, we're all different and the world needs that diversity of who we are and as we are.
Striking balance: the Importance of Listening, Nurturing & Support
Q - What are some patterns that you've noticed over the years about women in the workplace?
Recently I have been noticing a pattern where women in the workplace feel they have to behave more like men to be successful.
They feel the pressure to or, assume that the only path to progress is to demonstrate more masculine qualities and rigid business acumen. In doing so as women we lose our natural balance of feminine and masculine qualities and our ability to gracefully leverage both.
This is important because in the fast-paced and uncertain world which is constantly changing people feel deep emotions and often begin to struggle. The statistics around mental health and burnout at work are skyrocketing. As high as 70 to 80% of people experience burnout and exhaustion in their current position.
To address this, we don't need to go harder on them. We don't need more demanding objectives. We don't need higher targets. We don't need tighter deadlines.
To cure some of those symptoms, we need to find and address the cause of it. We must help people around us live through and process these struggles by listening, by nurturing, by supporting them.
To help people work through the emotions they experience we need to dive deeper and ask questions like ‘what about this meeting was most difficult for them?’ ‘What kind of thoughts were they thinking before getting terrified of giving a presentation?’ And these are some of the qualities that both men and women have and are capable of.
I am still discovering the right language to talk about this because it's not a strictly gender-related issue. We all have predispositions for these qualities. I know some incredible male leaders who will pull you aside and say, ‘Hey, you're doing okay. You know, in that meeting, I noticed something different about you? Are you alright?’
Male Mentors as Catalysts for Change
Q - Did you have a woman leader as a mentor?
Throughout my more adult career, I actually had a lot of really amazing male mentors. I have been very fortunate to come across well-balanced men, who were very empowering, who are very aware of the kinds of, you know, gender biases in the workplace.
And as I mentioned before, they have often lended me the privilege, so they so often saw the potential in me, they saw what I have to offer, sometimes they believed in me more than I believed in myself and they just kind of created the opportunity and gave me a little push or gave me the feedback I needed.
I strongly believe that men have an amazing role to play in helping to create more equality and bringing more gender equality into the workplace. And it's not just about gender, but also actually creating the room for dealing with uncertainty, for dealing with emotions, for dealing with well-being, for dealing with growth and the pains of growth, right, we all go through the pains of growth when we need a good mentor, or you need a good friend.
I am a great believer that awake and aware men can be incredible catalysts for creating the right kind of environment and space for women and feminine qualities in the workplace and in the world.
To listen to a full interview including how women can best support each other in the workplace, the self-care practices I put in place to take care of my mental health and much more head to Jio Events channel on YouTube or click here to listen to the interview directly.
