How to overcome fear by ‘Feeding Your Ego’?

How many times have you held yourself back from speaking up? Whether it’s a new idea at work or even just being more authentically yourself around others?

This is something I have been working on last summer with my amazing speaking coach, Judith Quinn. Judith is a master at really honing in and gracefully facilitating what her clients need.

This can be letting go of who you used to be, who others expect you to be or stepping up to be who you want to be.

The transformation that her work brings about allows you to feel comfortable in being fully self-expressed and allowing yourself to be seen and heard.

So what was my biggest takeaway from working with Judith?

There are cookies hiding behind the ghosts!

As business owners and solopreneurs, it takes courage to put ourselves out into the world and share our ideas and offerings with others.

We are constantly making the choice between:

feeling the fear and staying hidden or
looking fear in the eyes and showing up & sharing.

Since stepping into my own path, I’ve been sharing more of ME on social platforms and I have noticed how easily fears and insecurities creep in:

what will people think of me and my ideas
I don’t want to upset anyone
I need to research more, I do not know enough

It’s all part of our human nature, to feel fear, it’s our survival brain that is trying to protect us.

And it is the purpose of our human experience to acknowledge what we feel, explore it and learn to let go when it gets in the way.

I went on a 3-day retreat to confront those ghosts and when Judith asked ‘What is it that is making my belief in myself shakeable?’, this came out…

I don’t take the time to absorb praise, thanks, compliments and achievements. Instead, I often brush them away with "Of course" or "It's just what I do".

This lack of acknowledgement, for myself by myself, shakes my belief in what I do well and what I am good at. As a result, my ego is starving, and my roots get weakened. And weak roots can make a tree shakable, right?

So, is it good to feed your ego?

Judith said: “If you don't believe you are good at what you do, then others won't believe they deserve a voice. And if you don't deserve a voice - you stop sharing thoughts/ideas/feelings/opinions, or you don't share them with clarity and conviction but with questioning and apology. If you start questioning yourself, others will question you and you'll start feeling like you don't have a voice.“

“FEED YOUR EGO”, she said, because a starving ego is as unhealthy as an overfed one. It sabotages you!

So I came up with a whole bucket of ‘ego cookies’ and ‘ego brownies’ that day and I have committed to never starving my ego again and creating a box where I will keep all the moments that I am grateful for, proud of, and every thank you message I receive for what I do and who I am.

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